


contained (self)destruction

by fatalesam (bitehard)



Category: Black Sails
Genre: M/M, NOT unrequited, POV Second Person, Post-Finale, Spoilers, not quite requited either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitehard/pseuds/fatalesam
Summary: That’s your only salvation, the only one for Madi. And, really, the only one for Flint.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [(auto)destrucción controlada](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10533201) by [bitehard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitehard/pseuds/bitehard). 



> This has Black Sails finale spoilers so handle with care.
> 
> My first language is not English so please be kind :) This is a translation of my own fic.

Flint looks at you and you ask yourself how didn’t you know to read him before. It’s everything there, written for you, on the rage-filled, shaking lip, on the stare like a bullet to your chest, on the crinkles by his eyes, the fists so tight they’re probably leaving white half-moons on his palms.

There was a time in which you would’ve liked see it so clear, weeks or months ago, before Madi, before the war and a fear bigger than yourself. You would’ve liked to say “ah, so that’s it”, and you would’ve break the unbearable tension between the two of you by opening his mouth with your tongue, his legs with your knee, his soul with your bare hands.

You might have known it, even if it was for a second, in front of the bonfire, when he told you his story. An unrequited action, that was, but who cares about your past anymore. Not you. However, in that moment was Thomas’ name the one in his eyes, not your name. The thing is that his eyes always say Thomas, you can see it now, beyond the wrath. That moment is the foundation of everything that came after and settled inside Flint, layers of hatred and nastiness and the hideous presents live has given him, added to the ones that he caused upon himself. The deaths and madness and violence and pain. 

You realize that you remember each fucking smile that he gave you because they were like a miracle, he seemed a different man from another life and another world.

You cannot let yourself forget that is Thomas the key to everything, not you. You weren’t before and you aren’t now. 

And it’s better that you didn’t know, because who knows how you would have end up. Something tells you you wouldn’t have stopped this war. Something tells you that you don’t have the power to unmade him like the sole idea of Thomas does. You feel a pleasure, half sadist, half masochistic, when you say Thomas’ name, but you stop because you’re too occupied looking at Flint. He looks awry at you and you could swear you hear his heart beating stronger.

If on this precise moment the sky goes black and thunders start rumbling, you think, you wouldn’t be even a little surprised. It’s always like that with Flint. You look at him for a long time and you don’t concede him the privacy he should have, you have to see all the emotions on his face and, specially, you want to see the hope arrive. 

That’s your only salvation, the only one for Madi. And, really, the only one for Flint.

You repeat the name and this time you finish. Even before you do it you know that it’s going to hurt. A part of you (you don’t know yet how big, though) is anchored forever to Flint, like colours mixed up in a palette that are impossible to separate. But it’s worth it, to lose something from yourself if it’s for your future.

Your future is worth it.

"Thomas is alive".

Flint breaks before you, even if no one besides you would pick out the difference. He breaks in small pieces, until he is like the sand, he drains between your fingers and leaves you. He disappears and goes back to Thomas.

It’s ok. 

You can’t kill him, you _don’t want_ to kill him, so you unmake him. And if you unmade a part of yourself on the process, well.

Your future is worth it.

You think you’ll believe it if you keep repeating it.

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me @ youbitehard.tumblr.com


End file.
